"Hurt"

"Hurt", Is a song by Nine Inch Nails, Which is made more famous by Johnny Cash. this is how it starts :

"I hurt myself today.

To see if I still feel, I ..."

And believe me, I'm not trying to write about a song, or introduce it, or anything. It's just that I "hurt" myself yesterday. And It's kind of funny. I actually "hurt" my back, while riding a bicycle. and I didn't even own the bicycle, and this raises a serious justice issue which I'm gonna get to later.

What happens was I was riding this stupid bike. and I was riding it because it's kind of cool to ride a bike anyways. It's hip. and I personally like it too. this fucking taxi driver though didn't like it and just showed up in front of me. so in order to not get really "hurt", I tried to not lose control and i didn't. but in the process of not losing control I "hurt" my back. I don't even really remember how it happened. 

I should say though . being "hurt" with a -not so stupid- cause is not that bad. I mean I think it's kind of cool that i'm "hurt" but i'm not "I broke my head and I'm in the hospital" kind of "hurt". even though I have a history of back problems. and I'm almost secretly ashamed by it. which I don't really mind cause I'm secretly ashamed by a lot of things. Just like most people.

anyway's I gotta say, this really sucks. because even though it's not really crippling, it does make me walk funny. and I don't like that. you know ... even though I "hurt" myself yesterday. It wasn't to see that I still feel. actually it was the other way around. I got "hurt" because I didn't want to "hurt" anymore. and I don't want to explain that. I really wanted to be racist about this incident. I wanted it so bad,  to blame it on the racial background of the taxi driver, but I didn't see him clearly. he took off. 

now back to the justice issue. unfortunately this is not of a social injustice nature( which makes it not really interesting. doesn't it ?) rather a more cosmic injustice. First of all, the bike wasn't mine, and if by any chance my attempt to not get "hurt" was to save the bicycle it wouldn't be fair, cause it wouldn't be my fault and it would just show my stupidity. but most importantly, The last four times that I tried to  exercise or do any activity that involved physical exercise, to be fitter, and try to achieve other goals in result of being fitter. I've had some similar shit happen to me. and I don't like that. because I'm only gonna keep on trying 18 more times. if the same shit kept happening,  I'll just let it go. and this fucking shows that my will is strong, period.

I just really wish that this pain get's me some sympathy. Just in order to make this dear "hurt" of mine, just.