Sense and nonsense

It's a fortress. I can tell that it's a fortress. And I can feel an army within, At the center. A few thousand soldiers.  All sleepless and scared. The world's sleepless.  The world is suffering. The world is tired. the soldiers want to defend their own secrets. They send only the strongest out.  To buy more time. Maybe they could sleep for a few years.  And fight on! And the fortress might crumble in the meanwhile . But it might not matter.  The world is going to sleep,  and this might already be last night's possible dream.

A Pocket Designated for Passport : Change

winter is cold. Winter is windy. It's winter again and it never fails to surprisingly cold.

I have started to wear my warmest jacket again. A dark zipper jacket with a whole bunch of pockets. I was walking out of the building to get coffee and I touched my pocket to double check whether it was empty or not.

It was empty. My passport was not there and for a second I was freaked out. My passport had a lot of significance in my life. Especially  When I wanted to drink . My subconscious concern for my passport that was actually in a folder in my room, was all tied to my jacket and my first winter far from my home. A winter of rebellion against a mental immigration from somewhere that I didn't want to be in to somewhere that i didn't want to be in. By having a passport in my front pocket. One with the main purpose of identifying me as someone that has a right to drink, Of course after enabling my run away from a place that I don't one to be in to another place that I don't want to be in. It was the best tool I've ever had, an Identification.

But It's winter again, I don't need my passport anymore. It's safe and sound and it has less purpose in it's life now.

I'm drinking coffee now and I'm warm again. but I'm still just getting used to a lot of stuff.

I'm still getting used to seeing a talking picture of my friend trying to talk to me from inside my laptop.

My habits have changed. My life is still changing.

Somethings don't change. Be safe my dear passport.

"Accept the mystery"

 We romanticize our home , when we are not there . We romanticize a relationship when we don't have it. we romanticize limits, boundaries, religion, science, nature, cities. All good or bad . It's something that we do and there is probably a reason to it. A lot of it is to keep ourselves from feeling bad. Or alone. Or dead. Most of the times it is something that we enjoy having. Having a country to be nostalgic about is nice. Having friends to miss. Bodies to desire. Music to dance to. It is all good. It is nice. we probably need it.

Sometimes this romantic attitude of most of us lucky portion of humanity, Turns itself into hatred to other stuff. We then hate governments, cars, males, females, genres, races, words, people, people, people. This is all good too. We probably need this to to feel good. Feel important. Feel safe. Feel purposeful. And we probably will be all of those someday . or not . 

And how green and natural and caring and honest and comic and functioning and funny and beautiful and progressing and smart and curious and lovely we are. 

sometimes looking at people fills me up with joy. Sometimes it scares me.

 that Asian guy said : 

"accept the mystery"